159 - Marry Me

I hope beyond hope that everyone finds something they can like in this chapter.  Without further ado...

“Are you ready, sweetheart?” Henry affectionately patted the dainty hand tucked into the crook of his elbow.  He and Petey were paused just outside the doorway through which their mother had just vanished to take her seat.  Anxiously waiting the time for their entrance, Gavin was bouncing on his toes, torso already leaning in to the living room-turned-chapel. 

Swishing the satin fishtail of her skirt, she squeezed Henry’s arm and, with Herculean effort, forced herself to smile up at him.  There was no way in hell she was going to lose it now, not two seconds before she got married. 

“Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune without the words,

And never stops at all”

The quick shot of mental Valium, courtesy of Emily Dickinson, was enough to allow her to form words of her own.  “I’m ready.”

“You were reciting, weren’t you?”  He peered at her with the all-knowing eyes of a wise older brother.  Henry had been witness to her anxiety attacks too many times for her to try and hide it.

Gavin stilled his bouncing long enough to offer a muttered, “Well I see the genius doesn’t fall far from the brain stem.  When hasn’t she been reciting today, Einstein?”

“Be quiet.”  She commanded with a scowl before reassuringly patting her brother’s hand. “Yes, but it’s okay.”

“There’s still time to walk away, you know.  If you’re not sure about this, there’s nothing that says you have to go through with it.  We can be at the airport before anyone realizes you’re gone.” 

He made a half-hearted attempted to pull her toward the front door, but Petey dug in her heels and refused to budge.  “I don’t want to walk away.  I’m scared, but it doesn’t change the fact that I love him and want him to love me.”

He harrumphed and straightened his dark tie, grumbling, “Yeah, well.  He loves you.”

She had only half a second to process Henry’s begrudging acknowledgement before the gentle strains of piano music floated through the air, signaling that it was time to begin. 

Jon, David and Richie had chosen all the music for the ceremony, with Petey’s blessing.  She and her mother had commandeered so many of the wedding plans that she felt compelled to leave this part to Jon.  Although, with David responsible for the musical execution, she was now questioning the wisdom of that decision.  It was possible that he could do anything.

That thought foremost in her mind she stood her ground, unwilling to step out until she had positively identified the song that would usher her down the aisle.    It took about twenty seconds, but she did eventually recognize it.  It was ‘No One’, by Alicia Keys, and the lyrics rushed at her consciousness like a gust of overpowering wind.

“People keep talking

They can say what they like

But all I know is

Everything's gonna be alright”

Did Jon pick this song?  Is he telling me something with those unsung lyrics?  Or had he taken the easy way out and simply asked David to choose something ‘appropriate’? 

Her heart skipped a beat.  Then another.

Stop being a such a GIRL! This is not a reason to panic.  He’s out there waiting for you. 

Isn’t he?

Damn it all.  She was going into an anxiety attack.  Petey commanded forth the rest of Ms. Dickinson’s words, only to find her mind….  blank.  For the first time ever, the words wouldn’t come.  The music in her ears was overriding her natural ability to hide behind a soothing litany of memorized passages.

“If you’re doing this, it’s time to do it.”

Terrified fingers executed a stranglehold on her bouquet and Petey’s lungs seized with trepidation.  It was only with Henry’s gentle nudge that she was able to will her cute black boot to take that first step into the room.

Nervous eyes immediately swept past the sea of faces staring expectantly at her, and sought out the man at the altar.

He was there.  Jon was there.  Waiting for her, and so very handsome, standing tall and proud in his dark suit, hands folded together.  The carelessly tousled mop of his hair was made bright by the winter sun streaming through the over-sized windows. 

The words that had been hiding from Petey came bursting through the mental dam like a tidal wave.

Jesus!  Jon’s breath caught in his throat.  He and Richie had their eyes diligently trained on the back of the room when she made her entrance, clinging to Henry’s arm.  Was it his imagination or was she a little paler than usual? 

It was a fleeting thought as his eyes were stolen by the rest of her…

Peering around Gavin, he could see that the pale pink of the dress matched the roses in her bouquet.  The corset hugged her torso in all the right places, her breasts covered with the same black lace as their cake.  Below that there was a double-bow of pink and black, and below that was nothing but figure-hugging pink satin.  Black boots peeked out from beneath the skirt, and he could see a flash of silver on her right ankle.

Richie’s bracelet.

Forcing the corner of his mouth to cock upward in amusement was her hat.  Only the beautifully eccentric woman he was about to marry would wear a top hat on her wedding day.  He couldn’t see the back, but there was a feathery pink halo peeking out from behind her head.

She came closer, her footsteps in time with the music that was thrumming through his veins.  He wasn’t surprised to see a black choker around her neck, but it was infinitely fussier than any he’d seen her wear before.  Black, shiny beads mimicked the lacy pattern of the corset, and – his eyes slid up to her face as drew within feet of him – her makeup.  The lace around those brilliant blue eyes was ‘tatted’ from black and pink sparkles.

Gavin assumed his position on the opposite side of the aisle while Henry curled his big paw around Petey’s tiny hand and squeezed before releasing her into Jon’s custody.    While David quietly wound down the song Jon had chosen for Petey’s walk, Jon skimmed her features, pale under the elaborate cosmetics.   Cotton candy lip gloss caught the light as her mouth moved silently.

She’s reciting. 

The final notes faded away leaving the room quiet and David scooted back from the piano, ready to join them at the altar. 

With a gentle smile, Jon bent until his lips brushed the shell of her ear.  He folded her gloved fingers into his palm and held them there, allowing the warmth from his hand to penetrate the cool satin.  Very, very softly he whispered, “I.  Am.  Yours.  Do you understand me?”

Petey sucked in an audible breath as though she were breaking the surface of the water after a long dive.  Goose bumps danced a Latin rumba under her gloves.  The velvet sheathed words of steel did it to her every time.

“Nod your head,” he prompted with no more than a ghost of sound resonating against her eardrum. “You can tell me ‘yes, sir’ later.  Loudly.”

This was Jon.   He would boss, she would argue, they would fight, make up and love one another.  Probably every day, several times a day.  They went at it all with everything they had, and would still come out at the end of the day standing side-by-side.  She couldn’t think of anything more perfect, or anyone more perfect for her. 

He was hers and she was his.

Muscles that had been tied in complex Boy Scout’s knots melted away poured out of her neck and shoulders as though they were made of no more than water.  Petey felt the sun rise on her face as she imperceptibly inclined her head, cheeks deeply creasing in a euphoric grin. 

 “Good girl.”  His lips dusted her cheek for the faintest of kisses.  “You look gorgeous.”

“You mind if we interrupt your intimate moment with a wedding?”  David intoned lazily, his hands pushed into the pant pockets of his own dark suit.  “Or should we all go home and come back later?”

That drew a few chuckles from the crowd, but, unaffected, Jon merely straightened and took half a step back, his eyes never leaving Petey’s and not releasing his grasp on her fingers.  There was an undefined emotion swimming in the depths of the bottomless blue irises when he spoke a gruff, “Just get on with it.”

“Alrighty then.”  David rubbed his hands together with what could be perceived as maniacal glee before folding them demurely together in front of him.  “Friends and family, we’ve joined together today to celebrate the unexpected union of Jon and Petey.  I say unexpected because on the surface, there’s no one any more different than these two.  A Goth electronics genius and a musician turned conservative businessman aren’t exactly two halves of the same walnut.”

Petey smothered a grin when Jon’s eyes narrowed into menacing slits.  She could hear the non-verbal warning being issued as though it were blaring through a bullhorn.  David was being told to watch himself. 

“Even though I understand they got off to a rocky start, Jon finally pulled his head out of his a.. – “   David bit off the word with a cough and then cleared his throat.  “Excuse me.  Adjusted his attitude and found that he wanted to look past the combat boots and piercings.  Eventually, Petey let him.”

God, it all seemed so long ago.  All of the relentless questions and the determined charm that had worn down her resistance were a pleasant, but distant memory.  His determined guidance of her sexual awakening was a little more fresh in her mind, but still in another time zone from where they stood today.

“Before we get to the main event, though, there are a couple of other items on the agenda.”  His wide grin was directed toward the room at large.  “What musician is going to get married without a song, right?  We all know Jon can’t pass up a chance to perform.”

Snapping her head around, Petey asked in a quietly incredulous voice, “You’re going to sing?”

“Yeah.  Is that okay?”

“Of course it is, but… “ He’d told her flat out if she was looking for someone to serenade her with love songs, he wasn’t that guy.

“I can try and be a little romantic just this once.  For your wedding day.” 

The look of adoration that lit her eyes justified his feeling of impending humiliation.  You’d think he was about to streak, not sing a simple song, but this wasn’t the kind of personal gesture he was comfortable with in private, much less in front of a room full of people who knew him.  Who knew full-well that he didn’t do this kind of thing.

Releasing her hand with one last gentle squeeze, Jon inhaled through his nose and unobtrusively blew the breath out through his mouth.  He grabbed the neck of the Takamine he’d stowed in the front closet and climbed onto the padded barstool that had been brought up from the Shoe Inn. 

A light strum assured him the strings were still in tune, and his eyes drifted to a vacant spot on the floor even as he addressed the entire room.

“This song isn’t entirely appropriate, in more ways than one, but I heard it a couple weeks back and couldn’t get it out of my head.”  Now he lifted his gaze to find Petey watching him attentively.  Jon let  the left corner of his mouth slip into faint smile.  “I knew then that I was going to end up singing it for you.  I’m not Axl Rose, and I don’t whistle, so bear with me.  It’s called ‘Patience’.”

His eyes slid back to that distant spot on the floor as he began the leisurely and somewhat lengthy introduction.  Occasionally he would concentrate on his fingers and assure himself of their placement on the guitar’s neck, but, for the most part, he stared unseeingly at the rich parquet.

It wasn’t until he began to softly croon the lyrics that his eyes sought human visual contact.  The fingers that had needed such close supervision a moment ago now moved with careless expertise and he sang to, and for, Petey.

“Shed a tear ‘cause I’m missing you

I’m still alright to smile

Girl, I think about you every day now

Was a time when I wasn’t sure

But you set my mind at ease

There is no doubt you’re in my heart now

Said woman take it slow

It’ll work itself out fine

All we need is just a little patience

Said sugar take it slow

And we’ll come together fine

All we need is just a little patience”

Jon was right.  It wasn’t entirely appropriate, because she wasn’t technically Patience and they hadn’t taken anything slow, but it didn’t mean the song and the man singing it touched her heart any less.   She could understand why it had stuck with him.  The lyrics even used his pet name for her – Sugar.   

“I sit here on the stairs

'Cause I'd rather be alone

If I can't have you right now

I'll wait, dear

Sometimes I get so tense

But I can't speed up the time

But you know, love

There's one more thing to consider

Said, woman, take it slow

And things will be just fine

You and I'll just use a little patience

Said sugar take the time

‘Cause the lights they’re shining bright

‘Cause you and I’ve got what it takes to make it

We won’t fake it, ooh never break it

‘Cause I can’t take it”

He went back to studying his fingers through what she remembered as the guitar solo, absently crooning, “Patience,” throughout until he quietly faded the notes away without finishing the last verse. 

She wasn’t a Guns ‘n Roses fan, but she was a Jon fan and his arrangement of the song was perfectly suited for this day, this occasion.  When he reseated the Tak in its stand and returned to her side, Petey pushed up on her tip toes.  Tickling his cheek with a kiss, she whispered in his ear, “Thank you.  It was perfect.”

“I’m glad you liked it, Sugar.”  He bent at the waist, intent upon touching his lips to hers, but David had a different idea.

Shoving a long arm in between the bride and groom, he ran interference like a professional linebacker and used his forearm to restrain Jon just enough to keep them apart.  “Ah, ah.  We’re not there yet, but that does bring us to the heart of today’s program,” he kept the ceremony flowing smoothly.  “If you’ll both face one another and hold hands, Jon can start with his vows.”

The bouquet was passed to Gavin, who immediately stepped forward to accept it and the gloves that Petey peeled down her arms.  Her bare hands came to rest in Jon’s, where they drank in the warmth of his touch.

He inspected the short, glossy pink nails before closing his fingers around them.  Jon had a general idea of what he wanted to say, but hadn’t bothered to make notes.  Now he was wondering if maybe he should have.  There was only one shot to do this right. 

“It’s been a wild couple of months since I first opened the door to my brother’s idea of revenge.”  He tipped his head toward Tony, who sat in the second row of seats with Romeo perched on one thigh and Dottie's hand resting on the other.

"He thought it would be funny to send his demanding older brother, who can barely operate a remote control, an electronics geek named Petey to ‘fix’ his TV.  What he neglected to mention was that Petey was a woman."

"It was funny," was heard clearly throughout the room and he shot Tony a half-hearted stink eye.

“I made her show I.D. and everything,” he reminisced with a rueful grin.  “Then, after she walked into my apartment, I was instantly fascinated with the aloof little imp and her crazy colored contact lenses.  Lemme tell ya, she wasn’t the least bit fascinated with me, though.”

“That’s what you thought,” she murmured.

“Along the way, she finally started to let me in and started answering about one percent of my million questions.  Then it was two percent, five percent, ten percent, until I didn’t have to ask anymore.  I blinked my eyes and she was openly sharing herself with me.”

Jon’s chest tightened.  It was true.  She didn’t hide herself from him anymore.  His Petey was right there with her eyes stripped naked of cloaking contact lenses, showing him any and everything he was willing to see. 

“We haven’t had the most conventional road to the altar, but I can’t imagine it being any more ‘us’.  Petey Diehl, Patience Heinz…”  He offered up a wide, incorrigible grin.  “P.B.J. …  I love all the facets of you – girl genius, angry imp, generous soul, tender and insightful woman.  I stand before you today and promise that, no matter what we go through, I’ll still be standing beside you on the other side of it.  There’s nothing – short of you or death – than can make me walk away.  Sugar, for the rest of my life, I’m yours.  That’s my vow.”

Glittered eyelashes batted as ice-blue eyes melted into the deep-sea of his sincere gaze.  She wouldn’t doubt it again.  He’d made his point.  Repeatedly.  Jon wasn’t a man who made empty promises and it was time to stop second-guessing him.

“Petey has elected to go with the traditional vows,” David segued into her portion of the ceremony.

Keeping it simple had been her original intention, as she didn’t trust herself to speak off-the-cuff in front of this many people.  In light of Jon’s vows though, she couldn’t recite canned, traditional promises.  He deserved something as personal as he’d given her.

“I changed my mind,” she interrupted apologetically.  “Unfortunately, I don’t possess the groom’s eloquent public speaking skills, so I’m going to fall back on what I am good at – recitation.”  Petey offered Jon a shy smile.  “As I was walking down the aisle toward you, I was reminded of a poem I once read.  Maybe it was in the program of a wedding I attended?  I can’t be sure of where I saw it, but it is the perfect expression for this moment, and I’d like to share that poem with you, as my vows.  The title is ‘Why Marriage?’”

The words bubbled up, not from the same place as her rambling this afternoon, but a softer place.  This was no defensive battle of words against anxiety.  This was the gentle swell and outpouring of a much sweeter emotion.

“Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person,

With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body...

Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,

Who won't hold them against me,

Who loves me when I'm unlikable,

Who sees the small child in me, and

Who looks for the divine potential of me...

Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night

With someone who thanks God for me,

With someone I feel blessed to hold...

Because marriage means opportunity

To grow in love in friendship...

Because marriage is a discipline

To be added to a list of achievements...

Because marriages do not fail, people fail

When they enter into marriage

Expecting another to make them whole...

Because, knowing this,

I promise myself to take full responsibility

For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness

I create me,

I take half of the responsibility for my marriage

Together we create our marriage...

Because with this understanding

The possibilities are limitless.”

Without taking a breath, Petey added a barely audible “I’m yours”, intended for his ears only.  Jon rewarded her with a look of smoldering appreciation that set her heart aflutter.

God, I love him. I love the way he can make me feel with just a look.

She would be surprised to know how similar his thoughts were at that very moment. 

My God, I love her.  She doesn’t even know what she does to me with those soft eyes and sweet words.

“Do you have the rings?”  This question was asked of both Gavin and Richie, who readily produced the jewelry that would symbolize Jon and Petey’s marriage.  “Petey, would you repeat after me?”

Nodding, she took the black wedding band sliding it up to Jon’s first knuckle.  Listening to David’s words and committing them to memory, she solemnly echoed, “Jon, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness.  As I place it on your finger, I commit my heart and soul to you for today, tomorrow and always.”

The skull-etched band slid into place with the final word, eliciting Jon’s satisfied smile.  After turning to accept her ring from Richie, he slid the pink and black diamond band up to her first knuckle before earnestly delivering the same pledge.  “Petey, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness.  As I place it on your finger, I commit my heart and soul to you for today, tomorrow and always.”

When the platinum band was snugged against the webbing of her fingers, David requested that they both turn and face forward.   

“Today,” he told them with uncharacteristic seriousness, “you step from two separate, individual paths to walk a new path – a single, unified path.  It may not always be an easy or pleasant one, but it will be your path, the one that you forge together.  Along the way, there will be obstacles to overcome and lessons to learn – tolerance, acceptance, compromise – these are only a few.  You’ve committed to one another today, but will you commit to learning these lessons, too?”

“I will,” Petey acquiesced without pause.

Jon’s reply was a little slower in coming, not because of indecision, but because of contemplation.  “I will.”  He gripped her hands a little too tightly.  He looked into her eyes a little too fiercely.  “More importantly, I will commit the rest of my life to learning Patience.  In every possible sense.”

Next post: Thursday, September 6 

I was asked for rings.  I have Petey's, but Jon's is kind of made up.

Petey's wedding band

Jon's, but you'll have to imagine skulls in place of the etching that's actually there.